we signed the papers; I watched her change into a faded cotton gown and two pairs of socks; as if the worst injury that day would be the chill of the operating room。
She cried in my arms and said she didn’t want the surgery。 I held her hand as an I。 V。 was inserted into her arm。 In a few seconds her tears stopped and she closed those eyes that had always seemed so clever and clear; but now looked so fearful。
Feeling frantic and disconnected I kissed her; and then she was wheeled away through the unforgiving doors of the operating suite。 I spent the day in the waiting room polishing a manuscript whose only significance was its power to distract。
When she returned to her room late that afternoon; on her chest was an expanse of billowing white bandage placed by a surgeon’s hands with a precision and delicacy she would have admired。 I was reminded of the coverlet she had appliqued for our children’s cradle when they were infants。 The bandage looked gentle and protective…reassuring and not as harsh as I had expected。
Sitting beside her in a dimly lit room that smelled sharply of disinfectant; I realized that because my life was so intertwined with hers; I; too; was a patient。 I felt depleted and wrecked as I stared blankly out the window at pink…gray clouds slowly traversing the afternoon sky。
It was almost 7 p。 m。 before she stirred。 I heard her moan; and moved to the edge of the bed。 I lightly touched her lips with an ice chip from the pitcher