Orhan; I wasn’t awkward in my father’s embrace; like a fruit unaccustomed to
its tree。 I was delighted; I recalled how my father and I would often embrace;
sniffing each other’s skin。 I was on the verge of tears; but restrained myself。
Though I hadn’t planned to say anything of the sort; I said:
“e now; let’s hear you call Black ”Father。“”
The night was so cold and our courtyard was so very silent。 In the distance
dogs were barking and howling pitifully and sorrowfully。 A few more minutes
passed。 The silence bloomed and spread secretly like a black flower。
“All right; children;” I said much later。 “Let’s go inside so we all don’t catch
cold out here。”
It wasn’t only Black and I who felt the timidity of a bride and groom left
alone after the wedding; but Hayriye and the children; all of us; entered our
home hesitantly as though it were the darkened house of a stranger。 We were
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met with the smell of my father’s corpse; but nobody seemed to be aware of
it。 We silently climbed the stairs; and the shadows cast onto the ceiling by our
oil lamps; as always; spun and merged; now expanding; now shrinking; yet
seemed somehow to be doing so for the first time。 Upstairs; as we were
removing our shoes in the hall; Shevket said:
“Before I go to sleep can I kiss my grandfather’s hand?”
“I checked in on him ju